Spatial Awareness & The Peeing Game

What a weird title however it is a little more politic than what I wanted to call this post. You see I foolishly thought that integrating in to NZ society would be a breeze, they speak English, have a similar government structure and look to have a social structure and lifestyle comparable to the UK in general. Oh and they’re a commonwealth country, thus owing fealty to our most noble Monarch Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith, or in New Zealand simply Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God Queen of New Zealand and Her Other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith!

(Wow, I bet you didn’t know all that?)

Anyhow, I was completely wrong and it’s taken me roughly a year to come to realise two simple truths that underpin the difference between this simple fortysomething Yorkshireman and nearly every Kiwi I have had the pleasure to interact with:

• They have rubbish spatial awareness!
• They play the peeing game!

“What the devil are you waffling on about Ste, that makes no sense” I hear you all vaguely mutter as you skim read this post whilst surfing the net looking for something a little more stimulating to look at (pictures of cats doing dumb stuff perhaps?).

So let me explain

Spatial awareness is the ability to be aware of oneself in space. It is an organised knowledge of objects in relation to oneself in that given space. Spatial awareness also involves understanding the relationship of these objects when there is a change of position (source: http://occupationaltherapyforchildren.over-blog.com/article-spatial-awareness-108726104.html used without permission)

So for most people this is how you interrelate with the world around you, predict the position of objects, estimate distances, that kind of thing. Now I say Kiwi’s appear to have a rubbish sense of spatial awareness for a number of reasons (all of which may be complete bollocks however these are just my views), so I’ll attempt to list a few examples:

• They drive too close and manoeuvre without indicating (refer back to the definition above)
• They suddenly stop walking to chat to people in the most inappropriate places (doorways, staircases, in the road etc.
• They don’t hold open doors for other people (this isn’t a lack of courtesy thing but more I think about them generally not having an awareness of other people using the door).

I’ve experienced a limited ability to predict consequences from actions, cause and effect etc.

So you may say some of those aren’t spatial awareness issues however my take on this is that having an awareness of yourself in space is impossible without an awareness of yourself in time (uh-oh he’s getting weird – stay with me). Knowing your position in relation to other objects (people, cars, houses, cats doing funny things) is only any use when you can predict your position in the following moments as you move along (see second sentence of the definition above).

So in essence I’m talking about cause and effect, understanding that actions have impacts, however minor they may be, and having the forethought to try and predict the impact of your actions prior to taking them.

The Peeing game

I am male, always have been and most of my friends (from a very early age) have been male (as far as I’m aware). Men are different from women in many interesting, fun, challenging ways however the game I am referring to is peculiarly male (because of biology) and is a metaphor for something I am experiencing in NZ life, here so let me explain.

In most schools the male toilets have a long urinal (usually metal) along one wall. It allows the kids to squeeze together in large numbers to do their business, and then get on with more important activities such as playing chase,  football (or other competitive team game), fighting and in general avoid being inside. However during my school years there was a simple game that allowed a level of competition whilst attending to the bodys’ daily needs – the Peeing Game.

This involved seeing who could pee the highest up the urinal (and wall). The winner being accorded the status of most macho until the next bodily urge came along. Now I’ll explain why I am referring to most Kiwi’s playing this particular game (hopefully you’ve picked up on the fact that I’m using it as a metaphor for competition in daily life). You see no matter what conversation I’m involved in, both at work and in social settings it invariably comes down to seeing who can out do the other (pee the highest). Now let me be clear that is not to say that this doesn’t happen in the UK (as it certainly did), however nowhere near in the same quantity. Maybe its part of the sporting ethos of New Zealand, this drive to compete is ingrained in the psyche of every Kiwi (both born here and naturalised).

Please don’t misunderstand I’m not denigrating the “can do” attitude that most Kiwis have as this has resulted in some amazing feats (Sir Edmund Hilary, Captain Charles Upham, Sir Peter Jackson, Colin Murdoch) however when we are striving to compete in a conversation we sometimes miss out on someone else’s wisdom as we’re busy thinking of the best way to “out do” the other person.

I suppose the peeing game and spatial awareness are closely linked, if you are aware of the impact of your actions then you won’t be so quick to try and out do the other person (hopefully).

This post sounds a lot like a rant and moan, and in a way it is. This blog is a way to get my thoughts out there (i.e. from my head) and let me understand them better. I f I was reading this then I’d probably say “why did you come to New Zealand then if it’s so bad”.

And my answer?

The UK is worse, but in different ways, I’d rather have an argument with someone who is striving to be the best than someone who is apathetic and close minded. I’d rather try and make people aware of their actions than be involved with people who don’t take ownership of their actions and expect the state to fix things (then moan about the state not fixing it the way they wanted).

Oh and there are less people here…

And the country is stunning……..

And there are a lot less people……